ever have one of those days where someone’s a total asshole and it just RUINS an otherwise great day? don’t get me wrong – there are times where someone’s an asshole to me and i totally deserve it. but other times, like what just happened, it’s totally unfounded and it gets me soooooo fired up!
i pulled in to get gas on my way home. the station was pretty full, but there was one open spot and it happened to be on the right side for me. i pull in, nose to nose with a truck who was at the next space down. the chick looks like she’s leaving, so i wait a second before shutting off so that i can pull up a bit further after she leaves. suddenly, she’s totally EXASPERATED with me. hands up, gesturing like crazy, somehow over-the-top angry with me for having pulled in so she couldn’t simply drive straight through and out. there was nobody behind her blocking her way if she’d just reversed a titch. there was nobody to the side blocking her ability to drive out around me. she was even pointing the way she wanted to go – no tricky maneuvering necessary.
i throw up my hands with a “what the fuck?” kind of motion, and gesture grandly to the vast amount of space available to my side, informing her that she has “50 fucking feet available.” she starts jawing as she drives past me, with the words “stupid bitch” clearly visible through her closed window. i mouth back some less than savory phrases as she rolls past, furiously.
the thing is, i know she’s not still thinking about it. she’s totally over it, and i’m the one who’s sitting here blogging about it. i just get so damn ANGRY when i’ve done nothing to incur the wrath of a complete stranger. when i mess up? i own up. if i’d somehow effed her over? i wouldn’t be talking back. but somehow, i’m the asshole by just doing what everyone else is doing at the gas station. i’m the asshole because i had the bad luck to pull in in front of this chickadee.
if i had one wish today, it’d be that each and every asshole was forced to feel the real weight of that. acknowledge what it’s like to ruin somebody’s day when they did nothing to deserve it. you jaw at someone at the gas station, you cut someone off in traffic, you rant at a customer service rep who’s got no responsibility for your problem, you call somebody a name to make yourself feel better. i wish these people had to own and carry that karma around in a tangible way. like the chains that the ghost dude lugs around for all eternity in “a christmas carol.” every asshole thing you do? add another weight.
maybe it’d make people think twice and try to be nice.
or maybe i’m just an asshole for dreaming it.