spin cycle

d’you ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels? sometimes i assume that i’m moving along, speeding by, and then all of a sudden it dawns on me that i’m simply spinning out and not really going anywhere.

other people do things. they have jobs they love. they’re parents. they travel a lot. take classes. i don’t really do anything.

angsty is normal when you’re teenaged. still kind of charming as a twentysomething. 32? not so much.

what am i waiting for? 32. wish i knew.

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2 responses to “spin cycle

  • Petwlkr

    You know what they say….”Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”. Looking on the bright side though, you have come to this realization in plenty of time to turn things around if that is truly how you feel.

    So you have to ask yourself a few questions. If you never had to worry about money or consequences and you could literally do anything you wanted, what would it be? Doesn’t matter how outlandish the answer. Do you want to bring about World Peace, cure cancer, start a petting zoo, assassinate a political leader??? When you were a little girl envisioning your life as an adult, what did you see? In my opinion you are more authentic in your childhood than at any other time in your life so you have to try and remember what kind of a person you were back then and what you wanted for yourself? After that it’s time to decide what parts of your current life you are absolutely not willing to do without or change? Hopefully once you’ve accomplished that it will give you some sort of a primitive starting point and end goal. I believe that a realistic accounting of where you are and where you want to end up is half the battle.

    In addition it is imperative that you learn to be flexible. “Real” life very rarely looks like you thought it would. So often people get wedded to a vision of what the end game is supposed to look like. Then when they capture the perverbial Grand Prize they fail to recognize it because the package it came in looks different than what they’d expected. Keep an open mind, you may be farther ahead in the game than you realize.

    Lastly I believe you have be willing to ask for what you want. Don’t keep it to yourself, tell everybody and anybody what it is you feel you need in order to take the next step on your journey. The Universe has a way of making things happen and you will find that help can wind up coming from the most unlikely of places.

  • irreverence press

    great advice. i do ask myself these things a lot, but i struggle with balancing the idealism of the tough questions with the reality of life, my world, my abilities and my limitations. i mean, i would love to be a veterinarian. is that realistic for me? not a chance (i’d never make it past the math classes required). i’d love to open up a pottery studio, but i know that in this economy, it’d tank. so i sit where i sit, and i do what i do, and i’m harsh on myself for not doing these pipe-dreamy things that i long for. and i tell myself “maybe someday,” but those days are flying by. it’s a lot of food for thought. now i’m full. 🙂

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