Monthly Archives: October 2012

love’s letters lost

i started thinking about this last week, and it’s in my head tonight again so i figured it’s time to log it. blog it.

you know what makes me a bit sad? i wonder if people growing up today will ever know the wonder of the love letter.

like back in the day, when you’d write your heart out to someone on actual PAPER, using an actual WRITING IMPLEMENT.

or you’d receive one – your breath caught in your throat, your heart skipped a beat when you saw your name written on it, and you’d open it to scan it quickly to see how much was written, to know how much you had to look forward to before you sat down and slowly digested every delicious word. then you wanted seconds, thirds, even dessert.

i probably still have most of mine. i still remember much of what i wrote to others. these words and the resulting emotions are etched on me forever.

kids today text. if random social media stats are correct, kids don’t even email anymore. you think about how easy it is to text things to people. short, snippy snapshots at 160 characters per. anything of substance? hang on a couple minutes while you wait for the three-to-four texts to roll in, one after another. your auto-correct changes “heartbeat” to “harvest,” but you’ll still get the gist, right? your heart might still skip a beat, but it’s more from the wait than the words. email and text versions? too easy to delete when things turn sour. paper has a permanence that digital doesn’t.

it’s too easy. too choppy and too disjointed.

that the love letter might be a lost art is a blow to love (and life) as we know it.


love list

oh, goodness. today is just one of those DAYS and it deserves to be recognized.

i’ve only been up for two hours, but it’s been amazing.

  • sunlight streaming through bedroom window when i woke.
  • fluffiest pup in the world curled up like a bean right next to me.
  • rumpling her further for a few minutes while she stretches, snouts & paws.
  • put on my favorite new outfit: tunic sweatshirt, leggings, big socks & uggs.
  • fireplace cranking it out when i got downstairs.
  • that fresh fall scent sneaking in when i let loo out.
  • coffee – peet’s french – a big pot.
  • two mugs full, leisurely.
  • packer game on espn gamecast, phone chirping me score alerts.
  • inspiration hits – asked loo if she wanted a walk; she responded enthusiastically.
  • stunning, gorgeous, cool fall day – colorful leaves, crispy breeze, shiny loo-fluff rippling, big doggie grin, waterfront beauty, ominous clouds moving in, racing ahead of the rain.
  • another cup of coffee? sure.
  • decided to poach eggs. excellent decision. perched on crispy toasted english muffin, salt & pepp.
  • day ain’t even done.


threadbare 2: the threadbarest

the big, huge, official closet cleanout has begun. my spare bedroom holds boxes and bags of clothes ready to be donated to working wardrobe. i’m down 45 pounds as of today. all good things, right? so why does it feel so strange?

when i set out last year on this journey to lose weight, i definitely had goals. 10-ish pounds still to go, in fact. but what i hadn’t really accounted for, beyond the danced-around thought of how fun/cool it’d be to fit in smaller size clothes, was what that really meant. i’m not a packrat, and i’m certainly not overly sentimental (at least that i’ll admit to). so at least in theory, i shouldn’t have a problem with letting go of these clothes.

but some of them? some of them were really hard to put in that donate pile. the amazing tweed slacks that i had tailored just for me, and which i probably only fit in four times? gone. all of my cute little blazer-jacket-throw-it-on-over-a-cami-and-call-it-good(s)? gone. the camis themselves, for that matter – ciao! most of my cashmere, my beloved chartreuse things, the items from my love affair with j. crew, all gone.

i’m getting what i wanted – i’m downsizing, literally and figuratively. i get to start fresh, rebuild. but this has been a really interesting, unexpected, introspective experience.

what i hadn’t counted on was looking like a schlub for most of the past year. bumming around in ill-fitting clothes, because i couldn’t go down a size yet, but i didn’t quite fit in the previous one. trepidation over buying replacements, some financial and some knowing (hoping?) that they’d only last a few weeks. a sense of waste, getting rid of some unworn items, and some which were only worn a couple times. but then also a sense of happiness – donating some really nice, good-condition professional clothes to a great organization that helps women look and feel their professional best. and because of that schlubbing around in old or ill-fitting stuff? i better understand the importance of that.

i’m a very lucky, grateful girl. i’m getting what i wanted in more ways than one. and i’m appreciative of it – every pound, every size dropped. but this other, unforeseen side was a real surprise.

the dark side of the closet.